


Why'd You Have to Go (when I let you in)

by GilgaNyan (NarryEm)



Series: 1989 Inspired songfics [6]
Category: No. 6 (Anime & Manga), No. 6 - All Media Types, No. 6 - Asano Atsuko
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angst, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Hand Jobs, M/M, Post-Canon, Reunions, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-03-06
Packaged: 2018-03-15 14:17:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3450218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NarryEm/pseuds/GilgaNyan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Time is cruel. But what’s worse is when feelings and the heartache remain as faint ghosts in your heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Well, It Could've Been Easy

**Author's Note:**

> Title from “ _All You Had to Do Was Stay_ ” by Taylor Swift. The yearning and reminiscing present throughout the song is pretty much what inspired this story. I’ve read a few fics where Shion was on this Reconstruction Committee so I’m gonna use that idea even though I’m not sure if it’s canon or not. Take this as my clumsy attempt of an interpretation of the ending. :3

The minute hand clicks past the twelve and the hour hand strikes six. Normally, Shion would be out of his office and at his mom’s bakery or visiting Shionn and Inukashi at their place. Sadly, today they are tackling one of the bigger issues with the whole reconstruction business and it requires for Shion to listen to the grown-ups squabble about whose idea is superior.

“Shion?” one of the directors brings his attention back to current topic. “What do you think?”

He has to rewind a few minutes back before he can reply. Everything he says in this space has massive weight to them so he has to be conscientious to the extreme, always watching the wordings and intonation. “I think we could adapt from the ways that the Forest People and other indigenous peoples around the world have lived. Nature is an important part of life.  Therefore, as we rebuild our society, we can’t go back to the old No. 6 ways and wall ourselves off. We can take a vote too, ask how the citizens feel about having residential areas set up around the outskirts of the forests.”

The conference room falls silent and Shion has to fight back a smug smile. He didn’t receive this title for nothing, after all. It is, however, an honour and a burden all at once.

“Was that all we needed to settle tonight?” he asks.

“Yes, but we also need to discuss the final stages of the clean-up from the Elyurias incident,” the man whose job is akin to being Shion’s secretary answers.

It really does take all Shion has not to groan at that. “We can talk about that tomorrow.”

“Sir—” Shion cuts him off with a look. It must have had enough malice in it for him to have turned pale. No one knows exactly what happened in the Moon Drop but from the word of mouth, most of the general public know the gist of it, including the times when all Shion cared about was protecting his Nezumi.

He still can’t think of Nezumi without feeling the emptiness and loneliness. He clenches his jaw before he announces, “We’re done for the day. I’ll see you all here tomorrow morning.”

Storming out of the conference room isn’t his usual behaviour. But for tonight, he doesn’t want to think on and on about the consequences and people talking behind his back about how juvenile and unfit he is for his appointed job. He never said that he wanted it. People expected it out of him and he complied because he did still care about the city.

Unlike Nezumi.

Shion stops in his tracks because he can’t breathe, not with the sobs that are wrecking his body. He crouches down to the floor of his private office and wraps his arms around his knees, fitting his head in the space between so that he can’t see or hear clearly.

He has tried telling himself that it was all for the best. Or maybe some of it was his fault. It must have been unnerving to see someone go from ‘natural’ and clueless to murderous and heartless in a second, due to Nezumi being hurt.

Ever since then, Shion has tried to rationalise his behaviours. So far, he has no explanation that is better than _‘I can’t lose Nezumi. _I’ll do anything for him_.  No one can get away with hurting Nezumi.'_

Including himself.

The sobs subside eventually and he picks himself up from the floor. He scans his office for any important document he may have forgotten to pack and locks it up behind him as he leaves.

The walk to his mom's bakery is mostly quiet.  The skies above are swirling with blue and grey and he supposes that it might rain by the time he is heading back to his own house.  As he rounds the corner to his mom’s bakery, it dawns on him that he hasn’t eaten anything since the lunch break nearly eight hours ago. The sweet smells from the bakery makes his stomach growl and he hastens his steps. His mom is still in the shop, sweeping the lobby. Her face lights up with a smile when she hears Shion come in.

“Long day at work?” she asks. She’s already going behind the counter to warm up the dinner that she must have prepared for him.

“Brutally,” he admits. “I thought I was the kid playing grown-up in the committee but it turns out that it’s like being in primary school all over again.”

His mom laughs. “I’m so proud of you, you know? You were so brave and even when I didn’t know what happened to you, I always knew that you’d find a way back to me alive. And look at you now: leading a project to rebuild our city and doing a better job than the officials have ever done before.”

She places a bowl of yakisoba, a mug of tea, and a couple slices of cherry cake. He thanks her for the food before he digs in.

He looks around the shop and notices something that’s slightly out of the ordinary. The tables and chairs are in their regular set-up and all, but when Shion is staring at the doorway without intent, he spots a cluster of mud and muddied footprints. He can only guess that his mom hasn’t gotten around to cleaning that part yet.

“Was there a hiker who dropped by today?” he asks, taking a sip of the tea.

His mom smiles. There’s a hint of a secret there and Shion wonders why. “I guess you could say that.”

 

 

-

 

 

Shion ends up chatting with his mom for over an hour before she comments on how he looks ready to collapse into a bed. She gives him the rest of the cake and kisses him on the forehead before sending him away. It’s started to drizzle out and Shion’s mom frets about not having an extra umbrella at the bakery.

His house is cold and dark, just like always. A couple mice greet him before they scurry away to do whatever mice business they have. He has pondered the idea of getting pets, like a dog or a cat, but after having spent some time with Inukashi and his dogs, he shook off those thoughts.

He loosens the tie around his neck and drops onto the sofa. Tomorrow is going to another series of long meetings about more or less the same issues and he wishes that he could take some days off. But he can’t, not with the future of their new city resting upon his shoulders.

Shion is about to go to his bedroom and take a much needed long hot shower when a knock sounds on his window and dread fills Shion’s stomach. No. This can’t be.

But he can’t stop his feet from shuffling to the windows. His hands reach out and open up the curtains. The rain drums against the glass like his heartbeat in his ears and there he is. Nezumi is standing on the balcony like all those years ago, his hair even longer now and his grey eyes sharp in the dim night time lighting.

“Will you let me in?” Nezumi asks, his voice muffled by the window and Shion nods numbly and opens it.

They stand at the threshold for a few moments, simply staring at each other. Nezumi has grown taller, as unfair as it is, and his face is slightly tanned and somehow looks wiser.

“Shion,” Nezumi starts to say but Shion raises a hand. He won’t hear Nezumi’s excuses, not after all that’s happened.

“All you had to do was stay,” Shion grits out. He refuses to look into the familiar silver-grey eyes, he won’t. He doesn’t want to see the emotionless state of them and he definitely doesn’t want to start bawling his eyes out in front of someone he loved so much. (He still does.)

“Shion,” Nezumi murmurs. From the corner of his eyes, he sees Nezumi raises his arms as if to hold him, to touch him.

“No!” Shion slaps it away. “This was what you wanted, isn’t it? To leave me and go find yourself again or something ridiculously poetic and then return to make everything alright again. You can’t come back after all this time and that you want it back. You pushed away whatever we had, remember? What we had, when it happened, it was all under dire circumstances. I gave away so much to you even though you didn’t accept them.”

“Shion,” Nezumi whispers. “I was scared, okay? I was scared to realise that you’ve become such an important part of my life in the short period that we’ve known each other. To me, the idea of caring for someone or daring to call it love was foreign and a sign of weakness. You proved me wrong, Shion. You were the strongest person I’ve ever known. It scared me to see you do those things in the name of protecting me. It was like watching you become a wholly different person. I was the cause of your abrupt change and I hated that.

I thought that maybe, if I put some time and distance between you, I could come to terms with us. What we were, how I felt about you, and how I felt about myself. I’ve changed, there’s no doubting that, but so have you. Change was something I feared and not what I expected when I was planning my revenge against No. 6. Please, Shion. Let me stay this time.”

Warm, trembling fingers touch Shion’s chin and tilts it up. There’s no hiding the tears in Shion’s eyes now. But to his surprise, he sees that Nezumi’s own eyes are wet with tears that refuse to fall.

“You locked me out,” Shion mumbles. He clears his throat and blinks back the tears before he continues. “I let you in without resistance when we first met and I thought that you would do the same for me eventually. That never happened. You always had your guard up and I could never tell how you felt about me. And now you come back telling me that you’ve changed? I want to believe you, I do. But it’s hard to.”

He should have expected it, really. Nonetheless, Nezumi still catches him by surprise when he brings Shion’s face close to his and press their foreheads together lightly. “I care about you, Shion. And I can’t say what you want me to say but I promise that we’ll get there eventually. Only if you give me the chance.”

Shion bites at his lower lip to stop it from trembling. Looking into Nezumi’s eyes was a mistake. Opening the window again, he can’t do this again. Let Nezumi into his heart all over again when all they have in their future is uncertainty.

But he still lets Nezumi slot their lips together. The softness and warmth of Nezumi’s lips are exactly as he remembers. The memory never dulled or faded away to the back of his mind with the months that have passed. Nezumi’s smell enshrouds him and it brings back all the memories, all the banters and snide remarks, everything comes pouring back into the forefront of his mind. The goodnight kiss. The time when he killed for Nezumi. The time when Nezumi kissed him and promised to come back someday.

He never imagined that the someday would be compounded with so much self-doubt and this soon.

“Shion,” Nezumi breathes out, warm puffs of air brushing over Shion’s lips. “Will you let me in again?”

“I . . . I don’t know,” Shion all but wails. “You left me once, what’s to stop you from doing it again. What if I hurt or kill someone again? What if I turn into that person again and stay that way? What if—”

His rambling is cut off short when Nezumi pulls him in for a tight hug. Nezumi is so warm and Shion wants to give in to the comforting sensation that it brings. How can he, when doubts and incessant questions are clouding his mind?

“I came back, didn’t I?” A hand runs through Shion’s hair. “I came back for you and now that I have accepted my feelings for you and your feelings regarding me, I’m not scared anymore. I want this, Shion. Us.”

Shion pushes Nezumi away. This is dangerous. He was drawn to Nezumi from the moment they met and the effects Nezumi has on him hasn’t changed yet. Nezumi, however, grasps his hand and places it over his own heart.

“I never felt this way before,” Nezumi admits. “Only you, Your Majesty, has made me feel this way. I’ll leave you alone for tonight if that’s what you want. Your mom was happy to see me and told me that I could stay at hers if things didn’t quite work out.”

It clicks into place in Shion’s head now. “So that’s why she looked so happy,” he muses. Nezumi raises Shion’s hand and brushes his lips along the back of it before he drops it.

 _“Lovers and madmen have such seething brains,_  
_Such shaping fantasies, that apprehend_  
_More than cool reason ever comprehends._  
_The lunatic, the lover and the poet_  
_Are of imagination all compact:_  
_One sees more devils than vast hell can hold_ ,” Nezumi recites and it takes a moment for Shion to process the words and interpret them.

“Who is the lover and who is the madman here?” he asks, voice sotto voce.

“We are both and neither,” Nezumi smirks. “I think I’ll take my leave now.”

Nezumi turns around to the window again and the word blurts out without his conscious bidding. “Stay!”

Nezumi turns around, blinking. His face slowly lights up with a smile.

“Okay.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the little 'poem' at the end is an excerpt from "A Midsummer Night's Dream" by Shakespeare


	2. Picking Up the Pieces of the Mess You Made

 

Chirps and bright sunlight ushers in the new day and Shion groans as he buries his face in the pillow. Another morning, another day, another round of meetings regarding the subject of reconstruction of the city. And, inevitably, another day where Shion will wonder if Nezumi will ever return.

Shion sits up in his bed. He can remember that he had a dream, a pleasant one in which Nezumi returned and stayed when Shion asked him to.

Then he remembers that it wasn’t a dream. He rushes out of his bedroom and into the kitchen-and-living-room area and surely enough, he sees Nezumi standing by the stove. From the smells, Shion can only guess that Nezumi is preparing a light meal for breakfast. His heart skips to his throat and he has to fight back the tears that well up in his eyes.

Nezumi turns around and offers a tight-lipped smile. Grey eyes look into Shion’s and all the memories come rushing back.

“Morning,” Nezumi greets him.

“Morning,” Shion repeats robotically. “I’m going to, uhm, take a shower.”

“Breakfast will be ready by the time you come back out, Your Majesty,” Nezumi replies. His voice has the same teasing and mocking tone that he used to apply when addressing Shion that way.

“Okay.”

He takes longer than necessary in the shower, and chastises himself for that. He’s being a coward _and_ selfish by using up a lot of the hot water as well as wasting the water. (Nezumi would want a shower, wouldn’t he? He’s been travelling all this time he’s been gone.)

Shion nearly walks into Nezumi outside the bathroom. Nezumi’s arms shoot out to steady him and Shion realises that their faces are so close, close enough to touch and feel. He wonders if Nezumi’s heart is beating wildly just like his is.

“Careful, Your Majesty,” Nezumi murmurs. “You were taking forever so I’d thought to make sure that you were still doing alright.” His gaze drops downwards and Shion sees that his towel has slipped lower from the impact of their collision. “I’ll let you go get dressed, even though that’s not what I really want.”

Heat flushes Shion’s cheeks and he stomps away to his bedroom. He pulls the standard button-down and dress trousers from his wardrobe and puts them on. When he peeks out of his bedroom door, he sees that Nezumi is sat at the dinner table, the tabletop all set up with a handful of dishes.

“You’re running low on groceries, by the way,” Nezumi remarks as Shion sits down.

“How can you act so casually?” Shion blurts out. “You act as though you weren’t gone for months, Nezumi, and I can’t understand how.”

Nezumi frowns. “Would you rather that I act all guilty and morose then? Sorry if I can’t live up to your expectations, Shion. I left in search of myself, to explore the world outside of the wretched city and see if I could understand you and me better. I’ve learned many things during my travel and one thing is that you can’t let yourself be shackled down by your past.”

Shion opens his mouth to refute and then shuts it. Nezumi is right, of course he is. But he can’t help but feel betrayed.

“I missed you,” he admits, avoiding Nezumi’s eyes. The scrambles eggs and toast suddenly look so appetizing so he busies himself by eating a few morsels.

He pauses when a hand enters his field of vision and soon, touches his chin to tilt it up. Shion swallows slowly and closes his eyes so that he won’t have to face Nezumi’s grey eyes.

“What’s with you today?” Nezumi asks, foregoing manners and subtlety.  Typical.  “Are you mad at me for something?”

Shion laughs. “Did you expect for everything to turn out fine and dandy when you turned up? You were gone, Nezumi. You left me and I’ve been entrusted with the reconstruction of the entire city, not just for the people inside of the old wall but also the people of the West Block. Every day is a never-ending meetings after meetings where people older than us bicker over what they want to do next and I’m supposed to be the leader that they look up to. But how can I decide for people when I’m not even sure what who and what I am? What happened at the Moon Drop confuses me to this day and it scares me, okay? I never wanted for this to happen.”

Soft, warm fingertips brush over his eyelids and Shion is sorely tempted to open them and try to decipher the nothingness in Nezumi’s eyes. He lasts for maybe ten seconds before he gives into the temptation.

Nezumi’s eyes are pensive and . . . remorseful. Shion thinks that he is seeing things.

“I guess I did a shit job at explaining the reasons behind my leaving,” Nezumi sighs. “I was scared, Shion. I was scared of you and what I’ve caused you to do for my sake. But mostly . . . mostly I was afraid of the feelings that I’ve begun to develop for you.”

The words hang in the air between them like a thick fog. “F-feelings?” Shion echoes.

“At first it started out as curiosity.” Nezumi pauses and sips from his mug. It smells like peppermint and a bit of jasmine. “Like I used to say, you were such a natural and an airhead, it was weird to see someone so trusting and naïve in that neighbourhood. Once you’re dumped in the West Block, you learn to cheat your way or the alternative is to let everyone else walk all over you. But you were different. You were full of these optimistic and quite unrealistic worldview and it was fun to pinpoint exactly why you were wrong.

“Then shit happened. You learned that the life out of the walls is actually more brutal and that they don’t have much tolerance for those who stand out. Still, you treated me and everyone else the same way that you have before. You didn’t grow to resent the city or hate anyone because of all that’s been done to you. I couldn’t understand why since I had that revenge-driven mindset.

“When first saw you switch into that personality, the one that would do anyone for the people you care for, that was the moment I knew that I could trust you. I knew that you were dangerous yet I needed you. My selfish motives kept me blind and also hyper-aware of why I had to keep you close to me. After the destruction, I had to leave so that I could organise my thoughts and emotions, so that I could come clean to you when we met again.”

Shion slaps Nezumi’s hand away. The place where his fingers touched him tingles and radiates warmth. “That’s grand. But forgive me for not jumping into your arms and bursting into tears of happiness after having to suffer your absence. I need to go. The committee meeting starts in half an hour. You’re welcome to stay at my house if you aren’t planning on leaving.”

He puts the plates in the sink and skulks out of his house. He heaves a sigh as he shuts the front door behind him. He can’t deal with Nezumi, not when his head is full of all the rebuilding plans. Perhaps, never, not when his love—if he can even call it that—hasn’t ever subsided.

He is such a coward.

 

 

-

 

_At least the topic has shifted to environmental concerns_ , Shion notes somewhat cheerily. His interest in ecology has never gone away even when he was kicked out of the gifted class. Now that he has more resources, he has been keeping up with the current issues and technologies affiliated with ecology and the environment.  They were supposed to talk about the clean-up stuff but Shion has managed to steer the discussion back to something he was more comfortable discussing, if only for a brief period.

Hours pass by and to Shion’s dismay, the meetings end on time for once. They even managed to debrief tomorrow’s discussion topics and are halfway through resolving one of the concerns that have risen in the process of a particular project.

He knows that he is avoiding adversary but nonetheless, he goes to his mom’s bakery knowing that he can talk to her about anything.

Just not when Nezumi is chatting with her.

Shion has half a mind to turn back around and head home but he’s had enough of avoiding Nezumi. He works a grown-up job; it’s due time that he acted like it outside of his job too.

“Good evening, Mom. Nezumi.” A look of amusement crosses Nezumi’s features and Shion dismisses it.

“You’re off work early,” Karan remarks, smiling. “Nezumi dropped by again and told me that you let him stay at yours. I’m glad that you reconciled after being separated for so long. Nezumi has told me the short version of his travels. We were waiting for you so that he can tell you in more detail. It’s nice getting to know him a person, you know, the person who took care of my son when I couldn’t.”

Nezumi smiles. “I was only repaying a debt, Karan.”

Shion clenches his jaw. “Can we have dinner first, please? I’m a bit tired and would really appreciate a proper home-cooked meal.”

Karan smiles. “Of course, dear.”

 

Thirty minutes later, Shion is halfway through the meal and he can’t help but notice the intense way that Nezumi is looking at him. It’s almost as though he is scrutinising Shion, cataloguing just how much they have both changed. Gauging whether or not it is _safe_ for them to stay together, Shion adds bitterly.

“So,” Shion starts off after he’s put the dishes away. Karan has made them all tea and he distracts himself by playing around with the mug. “Where did you go after the wall fell?”

Nezumi shrugs. “At first I thought I would explore the uninhabited areas close to No. 6. A naïve and optimistic part of me thought that maybe, some people survived out there even without the fancy technology here. No such luck, though.  I didn't come across anything that resembled a structured civilization.  I wasn’t too upset by that. That’s life for you, anyhow.

“Afterwards, I tried my best to travel the globe. It’s tough to gain access to the other cities when I’ve got no real identification or certificates. I had to convince them that things have taken a drastic turn back in No. 6 and sometimes, I had to wait for days in the shitty jail-like places to be allowed inside their precious cities.

“Every city was different, that goes without saying. But how they dealt with the aftermath of the war and its victims and initiators varies significantly. For instance, in the area that used to be called Europe, they were all about unifying their people. One group identity exists there and if anyone foreigner didn’t fit in with their societal norms, they were ostracised.  Unless they were government-labelled foreigners, of course.

“There were many complications that I ran into during my travels, which was to be expected. Most of it came from this notion that I was on an espionage mission, that I was secretly trying to destroy their haven somehow. Another one was that they couldn’t understand why I would travel for the sake of travelling. Going to other cities for educational reasons is common enough but a nomad like me was nearly unheard of.”

Nezumi looks away towards the door and Shion wonders if the look of longing and nostalgia he catches is a figment of his imagination or something real.

“I came back because I wanted something more permanent,” Nezumi concludes. “The city is every-changing but its prison and later on, the slums is the only home I’ve ever known. Also, I wanted to see Shion again.”

Shion can’t bear to look at Nezumi. Everything Nezumi has disclosed so far sounded honest and heartfelt and _that is the scariest part_. The Nezumi he knew wasn’t this open about the matters of his heart. It’s only natural that he doubts if any of this is real or just a dream.

“Tell me that this isn’t just a dream,” he blurts out. “You’ve changed so much, Nezumi. And I’m so scared right now that I’ll wake up any second and find out that you were really never here at all. That the lonely and overworked months I have had fabricated the world that I want to live in.”

Nezumi sighs, a smirk gracing his lips. “You’re not much of an airhead anymore, that’s a relief.”

“What do you mean by that?” Shion feels his figurative hackles rise. He is also a bit hurt by the fact that his own mother hasn’t come to his defense yet.

“It means that you’ve become more observant and critical as opposed to blindly optimistic and trusting of everyone, Your Majesty.” Nezumi reaches across the table and hold Shion’s hand. He flinches, freezing in his tracks and forgetting to drink his tea like he was going to five seconds ago.

“Shion,” his mom chimes in. “I know that you were hurt during the times when you were newly appointed to be the leader of the city and it became apparent that Nezumi wasn’t going to return soon. You may not have noticed it yourself but you were acting so differently. It hurt me to see you that way, all broken and lost. I think it’s best that you and Nezumi rebuild the relationship you had before, but in the privacy of your own home. I feel like I’m intruding upon something so personal. Thank you for dropping by, Nezumi. You are welcome here anytime.”

“Thank you, Karan,’ Nezumi beams. “Shall we, then?” he cocks an eyebrow at Shion.

“Okay.”

 

 

-

 

 

 

Shion expects more talking and heart-to-heart with Nezumi once they are at Shion’s house. What he doesn’t expect is for Nezumi to kiss him the moment they step inside.

“Nezumi!” he cries out, pushing Nezumi away from the shock of it, a knee-jerk reaction.

“You fled from me this morning,” Nezumi accuses, grey eyes burning with so many emotions that Shion is afraid for a moment. “Did I wander too far off? Or is it you? I don’t understand why you are fighting this. Us.” Shion sees Nezumi dart in again so he turns his face quickly, nearly giving himself a whiplash in the process.

“I need to think this through,” Shion explains. “We’ve been apart for so long and yes, I’ve been thinking about you but jumping into having an intimate relationship when I don’t even understand what we are seems wrong to me.”

Nezumi sighs. “I thought you loved me.”

The words hang heavy and cold between them. Shion can smell his shampoo and body soap from Nezumi and that’s more attractive than it should be.

“I do,” he whispers. His eyes are getting watery again and there’s no way that he can hide them in his current disposition. “I . . . love you.”

Nezumi sighs and buries his face in the crook of Nezumi’s neck. “Good. Because I love you too.”

Shion’s heart flutters and the sensation only intensifies when Nezumi looks up. “I love you and I won’t run away from my feelings anymore. It’s understandable if you want to wait until we have sex or whatever but I want you to know the truth. I left because I wasn’t ready to love someone, care for someone that way and I returned because I knew I was ready.”

This time, it’s Shion who initiates the kiss. He winds his fingers into Nezumi’s hair and Nezumi follows his lead easily. Nezumi is a wonderful kisser, as unfair as it is. And he plays dirty too, nipping at Shion’s lips and getting Shion to open his mouth so that he can dip his tongue inside and tease him even more. Shion is embarrassed when needy and extremely sexual sounds leave his mouth. He tries to stop himself but Nezumi pulls back and shakes his head.

“I want to experience _everything_ , Shion. Don’t hold back.”

Shion nods. They navigate their way to Shion’s bedroom blindly, kissing until Shion’s lungs burn for air whilst his body craves more and more of Nezumi. Clothes rustle as they come off their bodies and fall to the floor. Nezumi’s body is so warm, to the point of being too hot to the touch. Maybe it’s Shion’s long-standing desire for him.

Nezumi’s eyes pierce straight into Shion’s as he starts to kiss his way down Shion’s body. They never leave Shion’s and the way captivated Shion’s prevents him from daring to look away. It’s evident that Nezumi is clearly more experienced in this sort of matter. Every touch, every look, every moment brings Shion more pleasure and excitement from the precedent and his arousal builds and builds even though Nezumi hasn’t even touched him there yet.

“I love that you’re still so innocent,” Nezumi comments. He nips at the sharp ridge of Shion’s hipbone and soothes it with a swipe of his tongue. Nezumi’s mouth trails down lower and to Shion’s frustration, he isn’t headed to where Shion wants him the most. Instead, Nezumi kisses the crux of his legs and then continues his ministrations along the sensitive inside of Shion’s thighs. Shion’s hips jerk up when Nezumi’s mouth comes near his erection again in a minute or two.

Nezumi lifts his face and smiles. “Impatient much, Your Majesty?”

Shion bites on his lower lip. “You’re torturing me,” he groans.

“I just want to enjoy every part of your body,” Nezumi deadpans, and Shion feels his cheeks heat up more.

With that, he scoots up Shion’s body and kisses where the snake-like scar starts on Shion’s neck. Shion clenches his hands in the sheets when Nezumi follows along the red mark, occasionally nibbling and leaving love bites scattering all over his torso. Meanwhile, Nezumi’s hands roam up and down Shion’s body is feather-light motions, adding to the rapturous feeling.

“Ne-Nezumi,” Shion stutters, the syllables interrupted by low moans that Nezumi keeps garnering from him.

“Yes, Your Majesty?” Nezumi answers, eyes staring straight into Shion’s.

“Don’t tease me,” he grits out.

“If that’s what you want,” Nezumi smirks.

He slides down Shion’s body once again until his face is level with Shion’s cock. Shion knows what Nezumi is about to do, he’s not _that_ daft. But having it actually done is a different matter altogether.

It’s hot and so wet when Nezumi wraps his lips around the tip of Shion’s cock. He has to restrain himself from bucking his hips up like before and that’s easier said than done. Nezumi must know what is flitting through Shion’s mind because he pulls off to remark, “You can fuck my mouth if you want to. I like it a bit rough anyway.”

Shion sputters and he would have said something about not wanting to hurt Nezumi or causing his discomfort if not for Nezumi licking at the underside of his dick, tracing a throbbing vein. He’s already so close to the edge and he thinks that’s passable since this is the first time he’s done anything of this nature in his whole life.

Nezumi keeps on licking at the shaft as if it were a sweet, sometimes swirling the tips of his tongue at the slit or even going past the base of Shion’s prick to tease at the sensitive area underneath. Shion almost cries out for Nezumi to do _something_ when Nezumi reverts to planting hard kisses on the inside of his thighs. Shion yelps softly when Nezumi sucks a large hickey on the inside of his left thigh, dangerously close to the crease by his groin.

He doesn’t notice just how much precome has been drooling out until Nezumi dips his fingers in the small puddle gathered on Shion’s lower stomach. “My, my,” he muses. Shion feels the heat creep all the way down to his chest. His lower belly clenches hotly when Nezumi makes a show of lapping at the liquid. He then proceeds to properly suck on two of his fingers. It dawns on Shion in a minute or two that Nezumi is simulating fellatio and the realisation makes his dick twitch with anticipation.

“Nezumi,” he mumbles, unable to look Nezumi in the eyes.

“Yes?”

“Can you . . . uh, continue fellating me?”

Nezumi snickers, much to Shion’s dismay. “I’m sorry. You’re so technical when it comes to this terms. Blow jobs, sucking someone off, that’s what most people would say, airhead.” The fondness is hard to miss and Shion smiles timidly when he sees Nezumi smirk.

“How about this then?” Nezumi places his fingers at Shion’s entrance. The touch nearly burns Shion and even though Nezumi is barely applying any pressure, Shion’s breath hitches in his throat. “Is this alright?”

“Y-yeah,” he stutters. “I want to do everything now that you’re here.”

Nezumi kisses him on his nose and scoots back down. “If you’re sure, then I guess I can’t say no.”

He takes Shion into his mouth again. At the same time, he pushes in with his fingertip so that the very tip of it—maybe less than the fingernail—is inside of Shion. It doesn’t hurt, not necessarily. But the sensation is new and foreign, to which Shion’s body retaliates by tensing up and making him hyper-aware of the fullness.

“You doing okay?” Nezumi asks, grey eyes clouded with lust and something else. Shion thinks it’s concern but he doesn’t want confirmation. Not right now.

He nods. “I’m fine. I want more, Nezumi.”

Nezumi laughs hoarsely. “I can’t decide if it’s adorable or annoying that you don’t fully know that power you have over me.”

Nonetheless, Nezumi slides his finger in to the last knuckle. It’s . . . unfamiliar, Shion decides. The stretch is minimal and to be honest, this isn’t what has he has built it up to be in his mind. He thought that sex with Nezumi would be life-altering.

“Don’t look so disappointed so soon,” Nezumi croons. True to his words, he wiggles his finger and Shion gasps when Nezumi’s finger brushes against a spot that has him seeing stars. White-hot pleasure shoots up his spine and he barely notices a second finger nudging at his opening.

“Feel good?” Nezumi asks, two fingers snug inside of Shion. He curls his fingers again and this time, the action causes Shion’s back to arch off the bed, drawing in Nezumi’s fingers as deep as they can go. Warm lips touch his prick again and he whines when Nezumi pulls back in another heartbeat.

This is more along the lines of Shion’s fantasies, Nezumi’s mouth everywhere on his body as though he wants to devour Shion, his fingers working magic on and in his body, and Nezumi being there with him to provide all of these. Nezumi’s free hand never stops exploring each nook and cranny that exists on Shion’s body. Shion really can’t hold it back, especially when Nezumi loosens the back of his throat so that Shion can thrust weakly into his mouth.

“Nezumi,” he pants, pulling at Nezumi’s long, silky hair. “I’m going to—” The rest of the sentence disintegrates in Shion’s mind as Nezumi rams his fingers into that spot and his mind whites out from the rush of pleasure. Nezumi won’t let himself be pulled of and keeps the tight suction around Shion’s erection until he is spent and oversensitive from the touch.

Nezumi sits up and straddles Shion’s hips. Shion’s eyes travel downwards and sees that Nezumi is hard as well, the tip drenched with precome and so red that it looks like it might hurt. He does what feels natural and wraps his fingers around Nezumi’s erection. A breathy moan escapes Nezumi’s mouth, something that Shion has never heard from Nezumi. Feeling encouraged, he pumps Nezumi’s cock, doing what he likes best with his limited knowledge. Nezumi collapses on top of him and with their chest pressed together, he can feel the way Nezumi’s heart is racing away wildly just like his. Nezumi kisses the side of Shion’s neck and his shoulder, marking him up even more with love bites. His teeth clamp around Shion’s right shoulder by the scar as he comes, striping Shion’s stomach with it.

Several minutes crawl by as they come down from the post-orgasmic bliss. Nezumi rearranges his body so that he is lying side-by-side, his arm wound around Shion’s waist in a possessive manner.

Shion startles when Nezumi cups the side of his face, thumb caressing his cheek. He tilts Shion’s face so that they are facing each other. “I’m happy to be back,” Nezumi confesses. “I wish I had stayed but I’m also glad that I allowed myself to go explore the world. Do you forgive me for leaving you, for not staying like a good friend would have?”

“It’s hard to stay mad at you,” Shion admits. “And you know I’m not the type to hold grudges or even get properly mad at people. As long as you promise to stay from now on, I think we’ll be alright.”

“That is something I can promise,” Nezumi vows. “I love you, Shion.”

“I lo-love you too, Nezumi.” He still stumbles over the unfamiliar phrase, a word that he hasn’t allowed himself to use around Nezumi. That will all have to change, won’t it?

Nezumi chuckles. “Let’s go wash up. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to wake up stuck to the sheets.”

Shion blushes, at which Nezumi chuckles more loudly. “You have so much to learn, Your Majesty.”

“You’re lucky I’m an eager learner, then,” he retorts, willing his heartbeat to slow down.

Nezumi leans in and kisses him. He bites onto Shion’s lips gently and then tugs at it, earning a moan from Shion.

“Come on then. Let’s get on with it.”

Shion doesn’t hesitate, not for one second.

 


End file.
